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[ Arthur's hands are shaking, and therefore, so is the Forge. But it's obvious, even in the dim light, that he's blood-spattered. But underneath the gore sluiced across his face, his jaw is firmed, his breathing slow and deliberate. ]

I'm so sorry. If I'd realized, I never would have —

[ No, he needs to start earlier than that. ]

If — someone who knows Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks could collect their bodies from the ruins...

[ No, that's not the place either. He swallows, hard, guilt shadowing his eyes. ]

[ Filter: Priscilla, Byakuya. ]

I have done — a terrible thing. I'll be stepping down from my position as Vice Commander, of course. And I would like to turn myself in to be judged at Themis.

Someone will have to be assigned to bring in Bellatrix. She fled into the Mist. I honestly thought she was no longer a threat to anybody, but I was wrong.

I've been wrong in a lot of things.

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[ That snaps Arthur out of his self-pouty, and he scowls. ]

Don't be stupid, you haven't done anything wrong.

[ It's a little touching, because he can tell Merlin means it seriously, and he squeezes one of his hands gently, much more lively than when it had hung limp to be cleaned before. ]

I don't think they'd let you.

[ The specifics of "they" are beyond Arthur, but it seems unlikely, that Merlin could just tag along, make his life comfortable, break him out if he needed to, hold him tight if he didn't. It seems like cheating, somehow, and he craves true penance, a guiding hand of the law to tell him what to think or feel about all this. ]

Then I'll just swim around Themis until they do.

[It's meant to be a joke - in theory. But neither of them are laughing.]

If it had been me, you wouldn't leave me behind.

It's not leaving me behind.

[ But Arthur knows he's got the right of it; he wouldn't let Merlin sit alone in Themis, either. He turns and cups Merlin's face with his one clean hand, mirroring. ]

Are you all right.

[Merlin looks into his eyes for a moment, lips thin and pale as they're pressed together. Tonks and Lupin are dead. Arthur, who Merlin was sworn to protect, who he loves has Lupin's blood on him. He will carry the guilt and face the punishment. He is most definitely not all right right now.]

[But he can still lie.]

Yeah. I'm fine. Don't worry about me.

[ Arthur gives him a slightly deprecatory look, as though he knows Merlin's lying, but lets it go. If he doesn't want to talk about his feelings, well. Arthur certainly isn't going to press. He leans in and kisses him gently. ]

It'll be all right. Themis isn't so bad, and nobody stays dead here, remember?

I hope you're right.

[For her sake. Merlin doesn't say that aloud though. And he doesn't have Lupin to turn him away from vengeance this time.]

[But Merlin knows that she must be brought back if she's found, that this must be done properly in order to help Arthur.]

[Merlin sighs, touches his forehead against Arthur's before opening his eyes. And when he does, they're like molten gold, sending his magic throughout Arthur's body in hopes of soothing every sad, every scared part of him.]

[ Arthur hums, low, and closes his own eyes. It's like being hugged by his mother, or the haze of orgasmic afterglow, something transcendental and warm, making him feel safe and loved. ]

[ After a moment or two of feeling it, Arthur realizes he's about to cry again — well and truly break down, this time, not just a few restrained tears. He hasn't felt this close to a personal meltdown since the night he'd spent at his father's bier, and he jerks away from Merlin as though he's been burnt, breathing rapidly. ]

Don't.

[ It's enough to finally get him moving, though, pushing to his feet, planting them as he tries not to tremble. ]

I have to go.

Let me go with you.

[Merlin stands, slowly, his eyes never leaving Arthur's face.]

I want to go with you. I won't do anything-

[Hysterical. He won't fight Byakuya, or remove Arthur's will and run away with him again. He won't cry. At least not until Arthur's too far away to see it.]

See me to the docks.

[ And no further. Honestly, he wouldn't even allow that much, when it means they'll have to say goodbye in front of Byakuya, but the note of despair in Merlin's voice is persuasive. ]

You have to stay here and look after Morgan and Aithusa.

[ He finds Merlin's hand, squeezes it. ]

[Merlin nods, quick to agree to those terms. It's a temporary balm, but it's all they've got. He doesn't have Morgana's gift of prophecy, has no way of knowing when they'll be able to walk shoulder to shoulder again.]

Don't worry. Just promise me you'll look after yourself.

[Until Merlin's able to do it again.]

I promise.

[ He won't ask the reverse, because he has half a dozen friends who aren't going to Themis who he's charged with keeping Merlin safe and well. But an incredibly terrible thought strikes him. ]

Don't go home without me.

That's impossible, you are my home.

[But he can see the worry in Arthur's face, and all he has to do to feel the ice cold fear of it is to put himself in Arthur's place, flip the coin.]

[Merlin lifts their hands and brushes his lips against Arthur's wrist, where the pulse is.]

I promise.

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